Effective Parenting

Many parents struggle with the choices their adult children make. Some even endure abusive behavior from their adult children while still providing for them in their homes.

There is a growing trend of adult children refusing to take responsibility for their lives, which leaves their parents carrying the burden long after their children have turned eighteen. This situation has become an epidemic, with many elderly parents either living with an immature, abusive adult child or feeling abandoned by them.
Why is this happening? We have raised a generation that believes they are the center of the world. Many have moved away from faith in GOD and backward into paganism, animism, and earth worship.

Many parents believe their children should not have to endure the hardships they faced in their childhood. By not allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions, we teach them to be self-absorbed and “victims,” leaving them lacking character, perseverance, and hope. “We also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because GOD’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the HOLY SPIRIT, who has been given to us,” Romans 5:3-5.

Parents often go to great lengths to keep their adult children at the center of their lives, sometimes agreeing to harmful, misguided, or even evil behavior. This can lead to years of unhealthy living for the adult child and their parents. Eventually, if a parent decides to set boundaries and refuses to accept the abuse, the adult child may choose to cut ties because the parent no longer serves their interests.

What we often overlook as parents when our children are young are usually the most vital aspects of parenting. Here are some essential practices to consider:
1. Set aside a daily reading time, making the Bible the first book on your reading list.
2. Pray with and for your children and take them to church regularly.
3. Teach them that GOD is the center of the world and that all goodness stems from HIM.
4. Encourage them to love their siblings and others around them.
5. Teach by example, showing sacrificial love for those in difficulty or need.
6. Have family dinners where you discuss various topics, inviting your children to suggest subjects for conversation.
7. Foster critical thinking by teaching them to express disagreements lovingly and respectfully.
8. Assign responsibilities and age-appropriate tasks to them while providing guidance and discipline if they struggle to meet these expectations.
Adult children who have ceased living with or visiting their parents because their parents stopped giving them everything,they wanted should understand that GOD will reward both you and your adult child for shifting the focus away from your adult child. I realize this can be painful, but this pain is necessary for the growth of both you and your adult child.
As a parent, placing GOD at the center of your life is essential to be a more effective guide and support for your adult child. They need to learn that they cannot abuse their parents. If you continue to allow such behavior, it will only escalate.
Put GOD at the center of your life, pray for them every day, and send them birthday and Christmas cards to remind them that you are thinking of them. Remember, they are adults now, and it is your responsibility to help them become independent, which is a crucial part of parenting. Turn to GOD, knowing that HE is a parent who understands your pain well. Ask HIM for relief from your pain and healing in your relationships with your adult child.

Read the following scriptures about David and his love for his son Absalom.
Psalm 3:1-8: David laments as he flees from Absalom, his son.
2 Samuel 15-18: The historical context for the psalm.
2 Samuel 13: The root of Absalom’s motives.
Psalm 3: David’s trust in GOD’s protection during this trying time.