Afraid to say “I love you”

The CHRIST Culture Blog | April 1st, 2026 | Rev. Dr. Carole Hulslander

The word “love” is terribly abused in many cultures today.

We have one word for love for a spouse, children, a sports team, and cookies! I’ve heard people say they love their job, their car, and their dog, but I seldom hear them say “I love you” to their spouse, parents, children, or brother or sister.

There are people in my life from many cultures that I love with CHRIST’s love. Some cultures never say, “thank you.” There are others that never say “please.” But those from cultures that never say, “I love you,” and are claiming CHRIST as their Savior and King are the most foreign to me. We have been commanded to love each other!

John 15:12-17

Tree of Life Version

12 “This is MY commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are MY friend if you do what I command you.

15 “I am no longer calling you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. Now I have called you friends, because everything I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

16 “You did not choose ME, but I chose you. I selected you so that you would go and produce fruit, and your fruit would remain. Then the FATHER will give you whatever you ask in MY name.

17 “These things I command you, so that you may love one another.”

So, what is going on? There are many reasons we are not forthcoming in speaking or acting in the love that our LORD has commanded us to live out. First, we are not friends of CHRIST; we are not willing to lay down our lives for HIM, our first Friend. Second, our pride leads us to love only those who prove they love us and are useful to us. Third, we want to choose who to love, but CHRIST said HE chose us; therefore, we need to choose others and love them as we have been commanded. Now, some will question how you can love someone because you are commanded to do so. You should know that you choose to love. As I have taught many times, our feelings belong to us, and we decide who we will love. If this were not true, YESHUA would not command us to do so.